It has been several weeks now since I took a running jump into the deep end, painting wise that is. Having done away with form, I start with a chaotic mix of colours and strokes. I am not conscious of any conceptual thought at this stage nor of any particular emotion at play except that an unholy mess is emerging on the canvas.
Perhaps the chaos is a projection of my own worries, neuroses , agitations and excitement. I don’t hold back on my disappointments and flaws and then when I am through with the first stage then I am ready to restore order and balance. With masking tape I delineate the areas of movement which I like, remove areas which are not relevant and add spaces of stillness to counter balance the movement.
Thus is my current journey of reflection into creation, destruction and restoration, much like the mind as it begins to evolve, as the human body first begins to develop and life unfolds.
I have struggled with these processes for most of my life. It is only now that I begin to understand and accept that on any given day, regardless of whether I am painting or out in the world, these processes are at play and one’s true purpose in life is to find the order within the chaos of the mind and life.